Life here is just ridiculous, right now. My mom goes to the bank every day (on my behalf, as I have not had a bank account in three years) to get ZD50, 000, which is enough to buy a loaf of bread. If we don’t buy bread that day, then we may have ZD100,000 the next day, and perhaps even have enough money by week’s end to buy pizza. This is not really (completely) because we don’t have the money. It’s because we are limited to ZD50,000 withdrawals per day.

And why would any government- nuts, hare-brained or not- do such a thing? Because, of course, they were trying to put a lid on inflation, because they don’t want to print any more money. And why would they have to print more money? Well, in Zim that’s rhetorical anyway, but there’s a new reason: “burning”. That’s the term Zimbabweans use for a new and slightly insane stratagem, which must have Gono (our reserve bank governor) taking ulcer medication.

The basic principle is: there is a shortage of foreign currency in the country. Foreign currency makes its way into the country by mostly illegal, informal means. There is already a black market for foreign currency; however, there are a few individuals who have so many Zim dollars that there is no numerical term for them (perhaps scientific notation?). These Zimbabweans are anxious to turn their play money into real money. Therefore, they will pay a premium to do so. They cannot use cash to buy this foreign currency on the black market (as it is stuck in the bank), and that pushes this exchange rate up further (which is called the “transfer” rate, referring to the fact that the money was originally transferred electronically between buyer and seller). At present, the ratio of the “normal” black market rate to the transfer rate is approximately 1:15,000 (if you can imagine that). Now, if I were the reserve bank governor, I would make sure people never ever ever have access to that money; if you could get all that cash out of the bank, there would not be a Zim dollar to speak of. (Which there isn’t- but that’s another story). And that’s what Gono has done. And so now, instead of transferring the money electronically, people use cheques to pay each other.

All of which leads to prices like ZD50,000,000 for a can of baked beans. Because you can’t get cash, and almost everyone knows that there is money in the banks, and so if you have a card and can pay electronically, everyone wants a share of that huge pile. Which is insane. The average salary (if such a thing exists) ZD20,000,000. I suspect that no one actually knows, anymore, what the Zim dollar actually is, let alone what it’s worth.

Sure wish I had USD to “burn”. But then what would I do with what I get when I can’t spend it?

On another note; I shared on facebook about what we in Bulawayo call “rand shops” (the “rand” being the South African currency), which started with a few people going to South Africa, bringing groceries back and selling them in rand from their homes. (This goes back to the days of the farm invasions, and when farmers moved into town for security, they would sell milk and meat from their homes). These have gradually grown into almost-actual-shops (being as they are outside the law). However, the government recently introduced licences for businesses to sell their goods in foreign currency- which licences cost USD20,000- and now we have a few real (read: official) rand shops, where people can spend the money that gets sent to them from outside Zimbabwe (which merits a post all on its own- maybe in the future). This has meant we can actually get food, which is a relief… But has also made things that much harder for ordinary Zimbabweans. (Someone told me that rural folk are eating the seed maize that the government has given them for this farming season…)

So the troubles continue, for now.