Isa 30:21 And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way, walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.
Psa 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you, My eye shall be on you. (MKJV)

Even as I type this up, I am quaking. It is a time of great change in my life (or, I stand on the brink), and I do not like it. I am not always this way about change- in fact, I am often right at the front, first to run… But right now all I want to do is cocoon.

That’s what feels good.

And besides, change brings questions. Like, can I change and still be in control? Like, how will I know which way to go?

We do go through times when our confidence in ourselves and our ability is shaken. That is normal, and human. Sometimes our confidence is wrecked, because things do come out of the blue, sometimes. Life is like that. And then when change happens, our first response is fear- because we know that life is currently unmanageable, we don’t have all our usual resources, and this change may just bring pain.

The mistake we may make when times are like this is to remind ourselves of past failure. Well, when I did this before, I made a huge mistake, we tell ourselves. And then we are hobbled, crippled, completely unable to take the necessary steps to move forward. We limit ourselves.

But fearful or not, when you are a Christian, you are led. I remember a friend told me earlier this year to “Be still and be led”- and at the time I first thought wow, yes, that resonates… And then I sort of wondered if it wasn’t some kind of New Age hokey (I apologise!). We ARE led. The Lord has a plan for those of us who are in Christ, and He will not risk it by abandoning us to chance. Our insecurity, though part of the human condition, is misplaced.

The second verse above is apparently not god speaking, but it conveys the same idea that the first verse does. The Lord really IS in control. I make mistakes, yes, and bad choices, but it all makes me who I am (and yes, that eventually grows to be comforting), and moves me forward to my destiny (truly, it does). I don’t always like how life goes, but I am certain that the best is yet to come- I know this. I don’t have to control, or repress.

Someone once spoke of how if you watch someone weaving a tapestry for about two minutes, you come away without a clear idea of what the tapestry will look like. It may just be a jumble of threads. And sometimes when you listen to a genius composer playing little bits of music, you may be fooled into thinking they have no idea what they are doing. It’s not always easy to see the whole, when you have access to only a part… But you can choose to trust that there is a whole, and you are in the right place in it, just where you need to be. (That takes a load of my mind, anyway).