Learnt something new the other day. Pride comes in many guises. I used to think that my perfectionism was just that, a desire for excellence in my life… But then someone challenged me the other day for feeling so terribly down when I make one small mistake. I can forgive others for pretty much anything, but me make a mistake? Forget it. And isn’t that just another guise of pride? Everyone else- all other mortals- can make mistakes, but I am too good for that. Everyone else is human, you see, but me- well, I must be superhuman, mustn’t I? I have to learn to temper that idea, and accept my humanity humbly.

Another guise- wanting to “help” others. Sometimes I guess I think I have the answers to other people’s problems. I want to “help others become better people’, quite as if I don’t have enough trouble solving the troubles of my life. I know a bit better, now. The only place I can really make a difference is within myself; and if someone sees that, and asks for it too, well that’s nice- but walking around trying to fix people is simply my pride in my intellect and wisdom, all over again.

Yet another guise: when my expectation fails, and I blame God. Surely God’s wisdom is infinitely higher than mine? Surely if things don’t work out, I have no right to be angry with God? He knows far, far better than I do; and even if I never see in this lifetime why disaster befell me, it’s still true that my knowledge is small, and God’s is great. My anger is simply my pride: I am effectively saying, Lord God I could have done this better.