Col 3:23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not unto men…
Pro 29:25 The fear of man bringeth a snare, but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.
KJV

Lately, I seem to be making very unpopular decisions. It sucks. I am at an all-time low in popularity rankings at home and abroad. No, not really… :)

Taking the unpopular stand always makes one feel awful. Everyone wants to be liked. No one wants to be the outsider. But that doesn’t mean that one should go with the flow, swim with the shoal, when it is more convenient to do so.

I remember a very sore lesson learned a few years ago. I had a job with a really BAD employer, and I spent a long time thinking that it was probably issues on both sides (i.e., that I had a part to play in the poor relationship we had). I probably really wanted her to like me (a very feminine trait, I think). I did not think that it was possible that this woman just had an aversion to me, and would not come round, no matter what I did. Psychologists call that a co-dependent relationship; I just called it hell at work. It was also odd to me that a working relationship should be so fraught with conflict- surely conflict is for personal relationships? It was a hard thing for me to acknowledge that this woman was, simply put, a bully; and it was an even harder step to decide to leave (strange, I know). And I still waited for three months, walking around with a resignation letter in my pocket, until the decision was taken out of my hands (to my immense relief, and slight mortification).

And then, there’s family. What about taking a stand when the people closest to you are involved? One of the things that happens to someone who is a Christian in a non- Christian family, is that one gets victimised for their beliefs. Nothing like the usual persecution (you know, beatings in the night, arrests in the night, torching of your hut in the night) that happens to Christians elsewhere, but it comes close :) An example close to home: many Zimbabweans believe in both traditional spiritualism, and also the Christian God. When someone chooses only the Christian God, that can make for a little drama. I experienced that in my childhood- particularly because I am descended from a strong healer (imagine how much fun that is). Spiritual battles are real. Sometimes comfortable religion, sitting in the pew on Sunday, has no idea. And when the battle comes, your stand has to be solid, or you’ll be run over. Maybe the worst part, though, is when you realise that your relatives think you odd: why don’t you think like they do? Why do you consider yourself better than them?

Oh, and friends. What about peer pressure? So you have chosen the way of sexual purity- rrrrright. Who are you kidding? I have friends who amaze me with the very public stand they make, and that in the face of so much opposition. I even have a friend who was a virgin at 25, and married a virgin, too. Why is that so rare in today’s world? Can you bear it when your friends don’t approve of the decisions you make? Can you tell them when they are doing something wrong, and take their anger and the potential loss of the friendship; or would you do anything to maintain the relationship?

Do you maintain your relationships AT ALL COSTS? That’s the beginning of co-dependency. Do you sell out your individuality, just to be in the “in” crowd? Do you speak up for yourself when someone hurts you, or do you stay silent so as to stay in that person’s good books? When you see something that is obviously wrong, do you look away, so you don’t draw attention to yourself?

So, what’s the solution? The Bible is clear; keep your eyes on God, not man. Most of the time, people see you through the film of their own expectations, their old pain, their twisted thinking, their broken soul. Always remember that. Any standard man sets for you is no standard at all. God is the author and finisher of you and your story, and He alone can say what you’re worth. (So it’s a relief that He thinks you are worth dying for, innit). There is absolutely no point in taking the path of least resistance, selling your individuality for a pittance, just for your 15 minutes in the limelight. Everything you do, do it unto God, and learn to be deaf and blind to the responses of the people around you. STOP COMPROMISING WHO YOU ARE. You are one of a kind, with good reason. If God wanted you to look like the next person, He would have made you that way.

Remember, Christ was considered a radical in His time.

Recommended reading: Approval addiction, by Joyce Meyer.