Isa 63:3 I have trodden the winepress alone; and of the peoples there was no man with me: yea, I trod them in mine anger, and trampled them in my wrath; and their lifeblood is sprinkled upon my garments, and I have stained all my raiment.
Isa 63:4 For the day of vengeance was in my heart...
Isa 63:5 And I looked, and there was none to help; and I wondered that there was none to uphold: therefore mine own arm brought salvation unto me; and my wrath, it upheld me.
Isa 63:6 And I trod down the peoples in mine anger, and made them drunk in my wrath, and I poured out their lifeblood on the earth.

These words are the Lord's, about the Israelites, but last night I read them in a new light. I was ambushed by people who are supposed to love me, last night, and they sat and played judge and jury and condemned me with harsh words. They twisted my motives, and my words, to make me look bad. I have never felt so attacked, or so hurt; never wished to deal with all the feelings afterwards. So I did all I knew to do: I knelt before the Lord and cried; I called out to Him.

And then I read that verse, and began to think… Because you see that’s the way I have always felt, that there was no one to help me, to defend me when I was hurt; that there was no one to fight for me. Not even God. And so I have been angry with people, because this thing has happened over and over (classic testing- with God you keep going back until you’re done); and I have lashed out, and it’s been like spilling blood. My emotions have been almost exactly described in the above passage, because I have felt the injustice of being attacked without cause, and responded to my hurt and anger by taking revenge on my own.

Psa 56:1 For the Chief Musician; set to Jonath elem rehokim. A Psalm of David. Michtam; when the Philistines took him in Gath. Be merciful unto me, O God; for man would swallow me up: All the day long he fighting oppresseth me.
Psa 56:2 Mine enemies would swallow me up all the day long; For they are many that fight proudly against me.
Psa 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in thee.
Psa 56:4 In God (I will praise his word), In God have I put my trust, I will not be afraid; What can flesh do unto me?
Psa 56:5 All the day long they wrest my words: All their thoughts are against me for evil.
Psa 56:6 They gather themselves together, they hide themselves, They mark my steps, Even as they have waited for my soul.
Psa 56:7 Shall they escape by iniquity? In anger cast down the peoples, O God.
Psa 56:8 Thou numberest my wanderings: Put thou my tears into thy bottle; Are they not in thy book?
Psa 56:9 Then shall mine enemies turn back in the day that I call: This I know, that God is for me.
Psa 56:10 In God (I will praise his word), In Jehovah (I will praise his word),
Psa 56:11 In God have I put my trust, I will not be afraid; What can man do unto me?
Psa 56:12 Thy vows are upon me, O God: I will render thank-offerings unto thee.
Psa 56:13 For thou hast delivered my soul from death: Hast thou not delivered my feet from falling, That I may walk before God In the light of the living?


This morning, in the middle of all the hurt, the Lord reminded me gently to look above. And I am beginning to see that there is no need for my anger. I am hurt, but my life is hidden in God; and so I am not harmed. And these people do not know me like God does; they do not even understand the reason for my faith. Light has no communion with darkness, and the Lord has told His people that they will be persecuted, because He was. So my defender is God, and must remain God; He will do what’s right.

I keep forgetting that the Lord has a plan that’s bigger than making me look good in front of my enemies. My pride gets in the way, I take offense, I fight for my cause (because I am a scrapper). But now I must learn to let the Lord fight my battles for me, as David did; and where I have erred, the Lord will show me.