1Jo 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment. He who fears has not been perfected in love.

This verse has always fascinated me, and I must say I have always grappled with it solely on an intellectual level. It always seems to have a meaning that just eludes me…

But the other day I read a devotional by Os Hillman about how the need for control is simply fear showing itself. I should know about this too: a former A-student, now a professional life must fit into its perfect little boxes and not change without warning. (I would be Monica, if you ever watched Friends). Isn’t it true that we control freaks are just people who are very ruled by fear- the fear that things will spiral out of control? And isn’t it true that at least part of the problem is the inability to let go and trust the Lord? And if that is true, then it must gave to do with the ultimate fear that the Lord doesn’t love one enough to watch over one carefully; it must be rooted in a conviction that one is not loved.

It is interesting, because the Lord’s love does not guarantee that we will not experience trouble (and that’s my problem, right there). The Lord’s love only assures us that no matter what happens, we will not come to harm (so many promises in the Bible about that, of you care to find out). I suppose the problem is that the Lord’s definition of harm and mine do not necessarily happily coincide: I am often that wounded child, looking up and wondering why Mom is feeding me peas when I want pudding.

I suppose the Lord truly is concerned with my eternal well-being, and with shaping me (as I asked Him to do- one would say foolishly) into an instrument meet for His use. A podcast from Cheltenham Elim Christian Centre says how about one just trusts that the Lord loves one, and then one can interpret everything else in light of that?