(That would mean, loosely translated: It’s up to You, Lord.)

Been talking to my girlfriends…hurting, confused, in adversity…. and it amazes me all over again how Christian women seem to encounter the same kind of problems, no matter what their individual situations are. I wonder at how people seem to think of Christianity as some kind of cop-out. It sure ain’t easy to walk that road. It’s almost like as soon as you open your heart to the possibility of God, you no longer have firm footing, and are almost always struggling to stay upright. I don’t mean that in a bad way, at all; but you know how human nature tends to be. We want to be in control, not just of the internal things (our faculties), but of our lives- and other people’s lives as well, quite often. Somehow being a Christian seems to show up all the holes in one’s self-sufficiency….
What happens when prayers for help seem to go unanswered? What happens when you feel you have surrendered all you are to God, and God seems to take no notice? What happens when you reach out to heaven as you fall, and feel like you make contact with- nothing (my personal nightmare)? What happens when you’re suicidal, and heaven is silent?
We are so utterly helpless…. In the face of cancer, depression, the death of a loved one, the failure of a career, the loss of a cherished dream… In the face of life’s pain, we are so completely cut off from our own resources. We are so fearful, then, and desperately hope God is waiting for just that moment before it all falls apart, to save us. But time and time again, it all seems to fall apart. What do we do then? How do we hold onto faith?
I think our calling is higher than just believing for all the things we may want or need… If God is Lord, truly LORD, He is not at all obliged to grant us the things we pray for. It sounds really harsh, but it’s true. And implicit in that idea is the idea of surrender- because if God doesn’t just give it all to us, then we’re at His mercy, aren’t we? The only thing that makes it bearable is this: we’re at the mercy of a loving God. God is not “loving” in the sense that a person can be “loving” towards another. He is the DEFINITION of Love. He is Love. And if we’re going to take the step of faith that would have us believe in God at all, then we have to go all the way. Otherwise, what’s the point?