Dear God, how I want to have strength and control- strength to fix all the problems of my (selfish) life, and control over everything, so no trouble dares show up at my door. But over and over I find myself brought to my knees by trouble, by depression, by despair… And shame washes over me, because once again I have lost the ability to hold it all together. And yet while I’m on my knees, somehow, in that moment when I realise my true helplessness, I tap into a power far, far greater than me, greater than anything I can do for myself. Suddenly, in that space of time when I can do nothing, some relief is given, even if it’s only peace so that I can go on. It drives me mad, sometimes, that I keep falling to my knees, when all I want is to stand on my own two feet; but perhaps I would not be here, if it were not for those moments on my knees, when I am given new resources. Your answers do not always come in the way I expect, or in the form I want, but Your wisdom is always higher than mine. In my quest to change You, to make You answer my prayers- it is me that is changed.