I’ll give you the moral at the very beginning: do not share removable drives. Just don’t. Even when it’s necessary.

A friend asked me if they could come over and send a job application by email, saying that they had their CV on a disk. I want to look like a nice guy, so I said yes. As soon as I attached the flash disk, avast (my el cheapo antivirus programme) went haywire, flashing dire warnings about an AUTORUN.INF infection…

Oh NO, I thought, because I’ve heard all about the worm that appeared sometime towards the end of last year, and has cost millions, and Microsoft has even offered a reward to anyone who can give information leading to the apprehension of the perps. I had been counting myself lucky all along, because I didn’t necessarily trust my free antivirus programme (it’s wonderful, but it’s FREE, for crying out loud), and I do a lot of downloading, browsing a lot of graphics sites. However, I did my best with security: I always use a limited Windows profile for everything, rather than an administrator one, and I have Windows firewall up, as well as antivirus. I also generally don’t attach foreign flash disks.

Well, after all the warnings, I immediately disconnected the disk, and did a system scan, which showed- nothing. I breathed a sigh of relief, and went on for a few days. In fact, it was only when I connected my camera to transfer some pictures I’d taken that- you guessed it, AUTORUN.INF showed up again. This time apparently on my camera….

Apparently I HAD infected my machine, and now my camera was also infected. What was worse, this thing not only couldn’t be removed by faithful avast, it seemed to be spreading, because now a new infection showed up in my picture transfer folder. I disconnected my camera, and went online for help.

What transpired was at least 24 hours of battle. I found information initially at Trend Micro, where I downloaded a little script, but that didn’t work- not completely. So I went back and found

http://bleuken.i.ph/blogs/bleuken/2007/06/29/viruses-that-uses-autoruninf/

which told me a bit more about AUTORUN.INF, and possible ways to contain the infection, both on my machine, and infected removable drives. I went to work at the command prompt (making me nostalgic for pre-Windows days), and after maybe five tries (bear in mind that I am not a programmer), I thought I finally had it right. I also checked (as I could) my system files, to see if anything had changed, especially on the day of the original infection, and felt sure that nothing had. (Silly). I just wasn’t sure though, and with reason, because when I went back into my limited profile and attached my camera, autorun came again and there the infection was. So the next day I went online again, and found more information at

Ask Metafilter (XP Filter: I set up a non admin account for safer computing -- Am I safe enough now?)- sorry, lost the link, you’ll have to google it

which was sound advice about disabling autorun, the thing that starts up a flash disk or CD when you put it into your machine. Perfect- except, like I say, I run things as a limited user, which meant that I had to go to

http://nick.brown.free.fr/blog/2007/10/memory-stick-worms

(very good site!) to get information (specifically, a script to edit my registry) that allowed me to disable autorun for the machine, rather than just the user. I had tried to edit the registry as a limited user, and failed (whether because of the infection, or because a limited user cannot, I do not know… Still). Anyway, the second attempt to disable autorun worked. I also uninstalled the SONY software (hmm) that I had installed when I bought my camera, to transfer pictures to the computer. Advice: transfer your pictures the long way. Seriously. The pain is not worth it. After that, my computer even began to smile at me…

Still not quite satisfied, I went online again, and this time found HijackThis (at Trend Micro), which I then ran to see what was going on…. And guess what: apparently, something called sys32.exe was being autorun from my restore folder. Like a good Windows user, I had turned on system restore for all drives… And now when I checked, I found something that looked a lot like a recycle bin sitting in there, except it had been created on the day I got the original infection… AND I could not find any other restore points. Why would my computer create a restore point right then, I wondered? Where were the other restore points, the ones before that? And why was this thing being autorun from such a weird place? I looked up sys32.exe, and found some dodgy sites, but a google search seemed to confirm that this was suspicious software- so I went with my gut, turned off system restore, deleted the folder, and turned on system restore again- and created a restore point. I then used HijackThis (quaking as I did so) to delete the registry key that caused this programme to run (because I still couldn’t edit the registry), and then deleted all the other keys that seemed to have to do with sys32. I did a search, and found a sys32 PF, which I also deleted, hoping al the way that I wasn’t damaging my system. What reassured me a bit was that when I ran regedit as administrator, I couldn’t find the keys to do with sys32- so I assumed they weren’t essential, and had in fact been created by my limited profile. I also checked, and found the same folder in restore of my camera memory stick, so I deleted that as well.

I am sort of calm now, but I will be very vigilant, watching for any other weird things. I am also very aware that I am only a normal Windows user, rather than a tech buff, so I hope I haven’t made a mess of things… And also that I got all of it. So now I know three things:
- No more sharing of removable drives.
- Antivirus may not pick up an infection, especially if it masquerades as a system file.
- There are some evil people out there.

1. We have the best climate in the world- ask anyone. Harare in particular is wonderful, but the whole of Zim is pretty lovely. No, I am not biased.
2. We are really nice people. When you sit in a kombi (public transport), you can pour out your troubles and everyone will listen, perhaps laugh, usually have a kind word to say- no matter how pressing their own problems are. Strangers also smile and say hello. I love that.(Australians are nice too, incidentally).
3. We are peace-loving. After all the troubles we have been through in the last ten years... Well, anything could have happened. That stuff happens in other African countries. Not to minimize the cases that have been in the world media so much, but we never thought to turn to arms to make our point.
4. We know how to have fun. In the old days (pre-financial trouble), Christmas was a good excuse to party all night- with the whole neighbourhood. We know how to laugh, no matter what's going on around us. I think Zimbabwean jokes are among the best in the world. Maybe it's the weather, but anyone can have fun, at any time- and we do.
5. We endure. I admire the businesspeople who’ve stayed, and stayed in business, in spite of how tough things have been. I love walking into the shops and seeing products made in Zimbabwe. I love seeing people “making a plan”- people who lost their jobs five years ago just finding a new way to stay in the game. I love that most Zimbabweans don’t sit around waiting for a handout, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. I love that we are a hopeful lot.
6. I love that I don’t have to worry about the food I eat. Since just about everything we eat is organic, I don’t have to wonder if I’m getting cancer from my food… Or worry about being morbidly obese because of a reliance on takeaway food.
7. I love that no matter what the stresses we live under look like to the outside world, we still live a relatively stress-free life. Our lives are real. When we are stressed out, it’s because we have no food in the house, or because we are sick. It’s not because we want that fancy new car, or because of credit card debt. Levity aside, the incidence of so-called lifestyle diseases is low, and as a result we are healthier even into our old age.
8. I love the importance we place on extended family. One is never alone here. In times of trouble, there is always someone to turn to… And one in turn looks after others. I love that I will raise my children in community.
9. I love the importance we place on respect for elders. I think it’s a good basis for stability in society. I love, too, knowing that I will not be placed in an old age home for the convenience of my family, because that’s not how we do things here.
10. I love the way the rainy season comes. I love the way the dry heat builds up until it is almost unbearable, but then if you watch, every day you see storm clouds growing on the horizon… And then the first rains come with their drama- huge storm clouds, lightning, wind and the wonderful scent of rain mingling with dust… And then the storms that come at lunchtime and when you are about to leave the office after work, just to drench you. And then everything becomes green again, and it’s like the whole world is sighing with happy relief.
11. I love seeing the farmers work in the fields. I love going up to Honde Valley in Nyanga, the way the road winds until you are sick with vertigo, and yet you are gasping with amazement because each turn reveals some pretty, secret, lush valley… I love standing on the mountainside where home is, and looking across to the tea estates near the border with Mozambique. I love getting up really early, on those tear-inducingly cold mornings in Honde Valley, when you see woodsmoke from a dozen fires drifting upwards to mingle with the mist.
12. I love walking through the rain forest at Victoria Falls, getting drenched, and feeling like a child again… And then coming to a sudden clearing in the “jungle”, and there is the magnificent, me-shrinking majesty of the Falls. And all the other things- the hotels in Vic Falls and the excitement of being on holiday and ordering breakfast, the not-too-resorty “resortiness” of Vic Falls, the crocodile farm, watching the hippos swim at A’Zambezi River Lodge…
13. I love taking road trips here, and taking in the vast expanses of savanna… I love how beautiful the countryside is, and how the space gives one a feeling of freedom. I love that even in the city, I don’t feel cramped. I love that one can own a few acres of open land even in the city.
14. I love the pace of life here. Not even in the so-called fast-paced Harare is life truly fast-paced. I love that one still has time to stand and stare, and that work is never really frenetic.
15. I love that we don’t really have crime here. Not compared with other countries, I mean. And when there is crime, it’s hardly ever violent. The incidents are so isolated that this is the exception, rather than the rule. I love that you can walk around during the day without worrying about someone pulling a gun on you. I love that you can drive around without being certain that someone will try to hijack you.
16. I love how patriotic we get around sport- but usually only when our teams are winning. I remember going to a soccer match in Harare, and failing to get in because the stadium was packed. And how everyone was singing, and the feeling of pride in being Zimbabwean. I suppose this happens in other countries too… (grudgingly).. I love, too, going to watch cricket, whether at Harare Sports Club, or Queens in Bulawayo. The weather is always wonderful when cricket is on, and the atmosphere is fantastic.
17. I love how Zimbabweans think a party- or fun- is synonymous with a braai (barbeque)
18. I love the little places there are? were? in Harare, informal eating places like KwaMereki and Cresta Mbare, where one could get an excellent Zimbabwean meal- excellent value for your money. I love that one got to know about these places by word of mouth, and that everyone seemed to go to these places… So you would meet your friends and associates there. And that a lot of office workers would drive there at lunchtime, rather than to some fancy takeaway place… And the service at these places would be the envy of any catering business. And gradually the service would get personal, too, as you became a regular. I love that you never had to worry about the hygiene, because the hosts were at pains to make sure everything was perfect- just like home. I hope these places survive.
19. I love township life. I love how when you play your radio, it’s so that the neighbours at the end of the line can hear every word. I love that everyone knows when you have bought a new fridge- even those who live ten roads down. I love that every home has a fruit tree in the front yard- and if you don’t have one, you can steal your neighbour’s fruit- doing them a favour, because otherwise the neighbourhood kids will. I love the fact that you can borrow a cup of sugar from your neighbour, or a teaspoon of salt- unless they started a rumor about you ten years ago, in which case you would rather go to the people two roads away. I love the general exodus to any cleared space as soon as the rains begin, to plant maize (corn), which you can be sure we’ll be eating like mad for four months.
20. I love how we exaggerate. I love that nothing is small, especially when you tell a story. I love that everyone is a storyteller- you only have to watch a Zimbabwean, any Zimbabwean, for two minutes as they relate something, to know that. The gestures are huge, the voice is raised, and there is a great deal of poetic licence.
21. I love that I can joke with policemen. I call them “chef” or “officer”, and watch them puff up with pride when I do. I love Zimbabwean in-jokes like that, the words and phrases that I can use to any Zimbawean that convey a wealth of meaning- words and phrases like “berial cheques”, “demonize”, Diaspora, and “under curatorship”. I love how we are about community, and every experience becomes a shared “Zimbabwean” thing.
22. I don’t know how many of these things are particularly, or originally, Zimbabwean, but I love: Mazoe Orange, Buttercup Margarine, Sun Jam, Willards Custard, Colcom Cambridge Pork Sausages, Chimombe…. Zimbabweans will know what I mean. I love that we get homesick when we think about such things when we are far away.
23. I love how public transport is never full here. There is always room for one more person on the bus or Kombi. I love (strangely enough) the “chicken” buses that take you to the rural areas, no longer with squawking chickens, but with squealing babies and sweating mothers, with blaring music and a shouting conductor, and a household’s complement of furniture on the roof. I also love how the informal bus stops gain a name that everyone knows them by- pa chibage (“by the mealies”, referring to where someone is selling roasted maize/ corn); pa ma gum tree (at the gum trees), pa musika (at the market), ekhoneni (at the corner), e mapostorini (where members of the Apostolic Faith meet or sell their wares). I love that the name may last even though landmarks change.
24. I love the music… From the endlessly-repeated riffs and plaintive sound of the lead guitar in sungura, to the sort of Afro-jazz sound of Oliver Mtukudzi, to the vernacular choral music we sing at the Anglican church, that has the ability to move me so…
25. I love how Zimbabweans in the Diaspora long for home. It must mean that there is something particularly special about this sort of teapot-shaped piece of earth.